I’m the type of person that has to be doing something to feel productive. By the end of college I was starting to get antsy go serve the Lord. I felt like my time of being equipped needed to be done and I was ready to go do the stuff we had been talking about for 4 years. So coming off of that and into a DTS where you spend the first half in the classroom was not my ideal situation. But I’m so glad I’m here because God has been teaching me some stuff about a life of serving Him that makes me realize I wasn’t ready yet.
One of the most common “Christian” ideas that I carry is this idea of being poured into so we can pour out. The basic idea is that you can’t love people if you don’t first receive love from God and others. I think this statement is true but I’m realizing the heart behind it isn’t right… We don’t get filled up SO THAT we can go serve and love. We can love and serve BECAUSE we have been filled. But the reason we desire to be filled is that we love Him; which is a response to His extravagant love for us.
The FIRST and greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind. And the SECOND is to love you neighbor as yourself. The filling picture is a picture of obeying the first commandment only so that we can better obey the second one. But loving Him is not simply a means to an end. It's the end goal. It's His greatest commandment.
In thinking about how backwards my thinking was, I started to realize how badly God wants our hearts. He's jealous for them. Not because giving Him our hearts will better equip us to serve Him and love others (though it definitely will). But because He wants our hearts period.
I realized how often I read the word of God so that I can know it better to share it with people. Or I pray so that I can do battle in the spiritual realm on behalf of someone else. And I’m realizing how little I sit in his presence or read His word or talk to Him or listen to Him motivated by the fact that I want to love on Him because of how worthy He is to be loved.
I realize that Jesus says whatever you did for the least of these you did for Him so our actions for others are in fact one way we can love Him. But my confession is that loving others has been the main way that I have loved Him to this point in my life. The other stuff didn't seem productive because it didn't produce a tangible result. But He’s worthy of so much more than that. He’s worthy to be told how amazing He is and how thankful we are that we get to love Him. He’s worthy of our adoration and our awe. He’s worthy of us slowing our lives down for Him. He’s worthy of praise and simply being with Him is NEVER a waste of time.
A father loves to see his kids doing good works but he also wants them to stop, relax, and sit on his lap and talk about their day.
It’s because of this revelation that I’m completely ok with being in a place that I talk to and worship my God and King for the majority of the day everyday. It’s not lazy or unproductive. It’s obedience. It’s what He COMMANDS us to do! How awesome is that? He’s sooo stinking good!!
“Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.” -Psalm 145:3
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